GM Alejandro Ramirez presents a humorous but very well thought out preview of Arizona’s Week 3 Match with the Seattle Sluggers. This is supported by complex statistical analysis which he used as an undergraduate at UTD. All Costa Rican spelling errors have been corrected. Alejandro will be playing later in the year for the Scorpions.
Hello fellow readers. I first want to apologize to everybody for the lack of professionalism of our previous match previewers, and hope you can excuse them due to their young age. Here, instead, I present a well researched, unbiased, and mathematically based preview of the upcoming match to contrast with Levon the Stable’s Precision and Novelty opening report.
ROGELIO “C4 E4 H4 H5 = WIN” BARCENILLA VS. HIKARU “OMG IM SO SICK” NAKAMURA
This one is very easy. We just have to look at the player’s latest results to figure out which GM has the edge in this match! Hikaru’s last performance rating (in the NH Rising Stars vs Experience match) his performance was a respectable 2557, but since Rogelio in his latest tournament (the super prestigious Copper State International) had a performance of 2617. Clearly, Arizona is favorite on this board. This, added to the well known fact that being white adds about 2.57 kajillion rating points of playing strength, Rogelio should have no problem. 1-0 Arizona.
SLAVA MIKHALIUK VS MARK “THE BLOGGER” GINSBURG
I really don’t know much about Mikhaliuks playing style, but I respect his performance in previous USCL matches; this plus the fact that he is white (see previous post) gives the edge to Seattle. I do, however, say that Ginsburg’s blog is out of the ordinary. Analysis of Ginsburg’s ICC openings against opponents as famous as PorkChopsTamer must have made him an opening expert. A lot depends if Mark can get a better (yes, with black) position out of the opening. 1-0 for Seattle on this one.
DANNY “SWEETHEART” RENSCH VS. MICHAEL “THE INEXPERIENCED” LEE
Another rigorous mathematical analysis:
Factors - (“A Tool”) Rensch vs. Michael Lee
Age: 24 Less than 10 Advantage Arizona
Kids: 2 0 Advantage Arizona
Wives: 1 0 Advantage Arizona
Stress level: Over 9000* 0 Advantage Arizona
USCF Ratings 2434 2384 Advantage Arizona
Ratings** 2.57 kajillion 2384 Advantage Arizona
You see the pattern. As long as we are able to convince Danny that this game is NOT PLAYED ONLINE The scorpions take this one.
*If you get this reference, you rock
**Ratings modified after the rule posted on the first game
JOSHUA “THE UNKNOWN” VS. LEO “THE MANAGER” MARTINEZ
Since I have predicted that all the other games will finish in decisive results, this one has to finish in a draw. A compelling argument. 1/2-1/2.
Overall I think that we will have a very tough time in this match, but Dallas has shown that anything is possible in the USCL. All I can say is Sting ‘em Scorpions!
Jandi,
If it was even possible, you just went up another notch in my book. Nothing but love for you, my Little Costa-Rican!
Danny
HAHAHAHAHAHA at the Barcenilla-Nakamura prediction.
[...] DA: It seems to be a tough match, but I will leave the predictions to the titled players. [...]
I get the over 9000 reference! Woohoo!
Science Rules! And here’s 3 more “science observations” that support my prediction that the Scorpions Sting Seattle (SSS) with a 3-1 win tonight!
1. The Moon sets 1 hour before the Sun today.
2. The Feng Shui will be much better in the playing hall this week.
3. The vibes from 4 million plus people in the Phoenix Area will energize the Scorpions way beyond anything the Seattle Area can do.
Alejandro was exactly right, the only way to play is to get a better position right out of the opening!
[...] manger picking a 4-0 sweep (obviously he didn’t really believe that) or Alejandro Ramirez picking AZ to win based on “science.” Its all fun so people need to relax and just enjoy a really cool US [...]